On Role Models

I’ve spent a large portion of my Christian life looking for Biblical role models and following their examples. At first glance this appears to be a noble thing. After all, it’s much nicer on the body and on the soul to avoid sin and pursue righteousness by learning from others’ good examples and steering clear of the “dead end paths” that veer off the straight and narrow. But people will disappoint you.

I remember looking up to a Christian teacher in high school whose love for Jesus seemed to command her every word and deed. She was my rule and standard, until I found out years later that she had marriage problems. I remember idolizing the woman who discipled me, and feeling crushed and disillusioned when her two sons rebelled and rejected the faith. I remember looking up to my Bible study leader, until she started to get honest and admitted she yelled at her kids and was often tempted to fall back into some of her pre-salvation vices. I remember attending a conference led by a celebrated Christian author, and feeling stunned when she exuded a cold disinterest toward me in our conversation after the meeting. Then there was the theologian whose works and life I admired who admitted to his struggle with pride. And most disappointing of all was to discover that my favorite missionary’s daughter suffered from emotional struggles she was convinced were a result of her parents’ wrong choices. Yes, people will disappoint you.

The same can be said within our churches. The people you looked up to in the first weeks and months of attending a new fellowship will “let their hair down” and admit to haunting doubts about their faith in a conversation. Or you will hear of their wayward grown children, or witness them yelling at their kids. Or you will come to them hoping for some good advice and find that they simply don’t have anything profound to say about your particular problem. They will fall from their pedestals, and you will be confused and conflicted.

Something tells me that if we were to meet the mother of Jesus here on earth, she wouldn’t be quite who we’ve imagined her to be either. After all, she was pretty controlling at times. Or what about Peter? Once we watched him become a little hot-headed at a meeting, would we write him off or question his salvation? Paul would, by his own admission, be less than impressive in real life. The scriptures are chock-full of godly leaders who were real people with real problems.

I suppose you would be right to lose any regard for me now, because I’m admitting here to a critical and judgmental spirit. You might even accuse me of pride, that I have the gall to evaluate the maturity levels of the people I admire. But believe me, I am well aware of my own shortcomings. I cringe when I recall a conversation I had several years ago with a young woman in a church my husband pastored, in which I mercilessly criticized another pastor’s wife who had been on staff with me. I can never forget the look of shock on her face as I felt myself losing my balance and tripping down a few rungs on the ladder of respect in her mind. (Don’t worry, fellow pastor’s wives. It wasn’t about any of you on my mailing list!) To be honest, nearly every day, I look in the mirror and ask the woman staring back at me, “How can you call yourself a follower of Christ and still struggle with the same besetting sins?”

But here’s the amazing thing I’ve more recently discovered. I think this state of affairs is a grace from God. If someone were to truly pull it off – to achieve perfection in this life – imagine the temptation the rest of the church would face. We’d easily find ourselves exalting that one in the place of Christ. The Lord keeps all of us humble in His sanctification process, sending transforming grace in abundance in some areas, while holding out in others, until the time He so chooses to wrap up the job. The challenge here is to love and appreciate and yes, follow, the example of others we admire as they exemplify Christ, but all the time knowing that there are some closets the Lord has not ventured to clean out at this time. There are rooms in all of our lives where He has not, up to this moment, focused His constructive efforts. When Paul said, “Follow my example, brothers”, I believe he was saying to the church, “To the extent that I follow Christ, do as I do.”

So this does not mean we stop looking for role models and stop admiring and attempting to emulate those who challenge us to greater heights. No, because we are being molded out of the same raw stuff – the new life in Christ. On the contrary, I believe we actually need to learn from each other all the more. In Romans 12, we read that we are given gifts and ought to use them with the grace that God provides, allowing Him to use each of those gifts to bring about the maturity He is working in the Body of Christ, all the while honoring one another above ourselves. After all, iron sharpens iron.

We as believers need to take into account that we are all “in process”. Every single one of us. God is carrying on to completion a work that is not yet done. We have to give each other grace daily, and put up with that part in the other that is not quite finished. It is freeing to think that as I am patient with your weaknesses, you can be patient with mine. As I admire what is complete in you, you can learn from what God has finished in me. I have found that I can learn something from any true believer, no matter how old or young they are in the faith. The enthusiasm of the new Christian energizes me. The steady wisdom and hesitancy of the seasoned sister in Christ gives a check to my hasty tongue. And you can learn from both my successes and failures.

This does not mean I never pray for or confront the one who is in error, but that I avoid what I call "scrapping the unfinished wood". I allow myself to be taught by all, and to love like crazy in the process. In Romans 16, you can’t help but sense the genuine love Paul had for these people he had led to Christ. He dishes out blunt rebukes in abundance in the previous 15 chapters, but he reveals his heart as he lists each of these dear friends by name in these final lines of his treatise. He didn’t view them with exasperation, as immature dependent children, but rather as precious brothers and sisters, equals in life and mission.

Ultimately, our goal ought to be to love God and fix our eyes mainly on Jesus – the One who awaits us at the end of the race. But while running, different people will come alongside and for awhile occupy the space just ahead of us or beside us, urging us on to the finish line. There will be those who lag behind a tad for a few laps and then get a burst of energy and pass us up. (Don’t be surprised if this happens! That silly little teenager you’re discipling today – or your son - might be used mightily of God in the future, and you’ll just be thankful you knew them when!) Let each of us make the most of this fellowship, learning from each other, sometimes even setting the pace, but always characterized by hopeful thoughts and encouraging words while we share these moments. I for one want to cheer you on as so many of you come to mind today. I love (and admire) you all. Soli Deo Gloria.

Jacqui